The word ‘jealous’ is used several times in the Bible, especially in the Old Testament. You may be surprised to learn that the one who is described as jealous most often is God himself. We serve a jealous God. His jealousy for us comes from a place of love.
But is this kind of jealousy the same kind of jealousy that manifests in our marriages today? Can you love your spouse and be jealous at the same time? How do you get over the feeling of jealousy? All of these questions will be addressed today.
Is Jealousy Good?
Jealousy refers to the fear and insecurity which arise over what you consider highly valuable. When it comes to marriage, your spouse can become that object of great personal value.
In some marriages, one spouse esteems the other even higher than himself or herself. Then the tendency arises to be overly protective of that spouse.
While nothing is wrong with looking out for the safety and overall well-being of your spouse, it is unwise to be so overly protective. If you become uneasy when your spouse makes eye contact with someone of the opposite sex, it may be a sign of jealousy. This dynamic can cause distaste and strife within your marriage.
Some spouses view jealousy as an act of love or protection. When that happens, jealousy becomes strangely attractive. If your friends say a jealous spouse can make you feel important and you choose to believe them, you are setting yourself up for failure.
Godly jealousy is the only form of jealousy that can guarantee your peace and comfort. God is moved to jealousy when you put other gods and people before Him. But although He is jealous, His love for you is so great that when you repent of wrongdoing, He will gladly take you into His arms again.
In marriage, forgiveness does not always come that easily. Jealousy is complicated because it is an operation of the spirit as well as the emotions. A jealous spirit does not only influence you to feel jealous. It invites other kinds of spirits like anger, malice, abuse and so many others. This makes jealousy a bad characteristic to portray in marriage.
Can Jealousy Exist with Love?
The short answer to this question is yes. Remember that God loves us dearly yet at same time He is jealous. Similarly, a man can love his wife so dearly but can at the same time be jealous over her. Again, jealousy is not just an emotion. It is a spirit, and this kind of spirit targets marriages. Now that we know the spirit of jealousy targets marriages, we can learn what we can control to reduce the likelihood of spiritual warfare.
Key Biblical Counsel & Warfare Strategies For Your VICTORY
Spouses can honor each other.
Some verses for your inspiration: “Wives, in the same way submit yourselves to your own husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives.” 1 Peter 3:1 “Husbands, likewise, dwell with them with understanding, giving honor to the wife, as to the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers may not be hindered.” 1 Peter 3:7
Seek Christian counseling.
Christian counselors at Battle For Your Life can help you to find sound and profitable solutions for dealing with jealousy. One of our solutions for defeating the spirit of jealousy is to invite both husband and wife to engage in spiritual warfare.
Understand spiritual warfare.
Spiritual warfare is that place during prayer where we directly address the enemy under the guidance of the Holy Spirit. In spiritual warfare, a couple can bind up the spirit of jealousy and finally break its power from over their lives.
Live in love.
Marriages must be established in true love. Without true love, spirits like jealousy, anger, pride and others will always try to steal your joy and seek to destroy your marriage. Living in love, with God’s power and strength, gives you a solid foundation.
Angela Lowe, MS. Ed., LPC
Angela Lowe is a licensed Professional Counselor, trained Biblical Counselor and certified Holistic Health Coach. Her kingdom mandate is to restore God’s counsel to transform lives, marriages, and churches worldwide.